Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Great Big About Me Photo Post 1

 I thought it was time to throw together a post that really described me, that gave you some idea of the things I am passionate about as well as the type of person I am. So, this will be such a post.
 I'm a nerd. I always have been, and even when I wasn't very old I was always obsessed with things that made me not fit in. I'm not going to say I stick out so bad these days, with my dark brown hair and lack of style I don't really "scream" look at me, I'm different, the way that I did when I was younger, but, I do have these obscure interests and jumbled together with my melting pot personality I am quite awkward and different from my peers.
 Maybe it's that I have 3 kids, and am a single parent.
Maybe it's that the first man I choose 100% to bring into my life, freely, broke my heart.
It could be that as much as I love people (and I truly do adore them) I don't trust any of them with my whole story. I won't ever let anyone know "the whole story".
Maybe it's that I am awkward, and hung up on all the negative things people pointed out my whole life.
Or, it might be that I just feel free and don't know how to relinquish it...

But, whatever it is, that makes me so inept at society
I don't mind anymore.
 I remember, trying to find myself after my ex husband and I split. I remember having the conscious thought, "Who is Johnna, anyway?" I had been a housewife, a stay at home mom, a quiet person, and very shy. I didn't have much to say.
Sure, I'm still some of those things, but in the last 2 years I have really blossomed.
I'm still shy, and quiet, but I see myself in parts now. Parts of a whole. And the best part of that being that I am whole. I don't need another human being, more specifically, a boyfriend, to make myself feel the happiness I've been missing.
I am enough.

Even if I still have to remind myself from time to time, I do believe that. Completely.
 My favorite color is aquamarine. But, it's not a color I wear. It's not a color that you'll see a lot of, but I always seem to find myself drawn to it. I also love whites and creams, browns and greens. But really, I love color. And I love Black and White.
See those cassettes? Right there. Yes, those, those are the latest cassettes I purchased. Me and Mountains and King Elk are two local to Dayton Ohio bands. I love local music. There isn't even a word for how much I love local music. I'd advise you to click the link HERE for Gas Daddy Go records and listen to any of the bands they are featuring.
King Elk hasn't left me tape deck since I bought it.
Music is one of those things I will ALWAYS be pushing. I like to exchange music with people all the time, I make mixtape care-packages and send them across the country. I love that we are all so different but that music connects us, effortlessly. I admire the people that can turn their feelings into melodies. I admire the courage it takes. I can't say enough.
I don't play any instruments. And I never sing in front of people, except my close friends and family, and it's just for fun, never to be serious. But music is my joy.
 Last Spring I hit a bit of a financial snag and had to sell many many things that were so precious to me. Among those was my dslr. I cried. I won't lie. I needed the money, I needed to be a responsible parent but it broke my heart. Luckily, when the Fall comes I can get another.
Besides, when it comes to Photography, I really feel like this:

Vinyl is to Music what Film is to Photography

I have this (pictured) Canon Av-1 that I shoot film on. I love the look of film. It's so perfect. I think it's the thought that it's the imprint of light catching a moment, not a digital representation. It feels personal, and raw, and sacred. I love film. I love having film. I love knowing that I know what I'm doing with a film camera.
So, that's me. Or a part of me. We'll talk more about my kids in their own post. They've earned that.

And... We'll talk about my collections, including my record collection in another post too.
If you took the time to read this, thank you. Sincerely.

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