Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Archive Post : Exhale (8-24-2011)

Exhale.
You knew it would be this way… you shouldn’t be surprised… you shouldn’t be overwhelmed. Stop taking everything personally. Stop. Just stop.
I am the kind of person that has been handed so many gifts. Many of them fleeting, many of them gone now… but in a time, their own time, they were of the utmost sincerity and simple hope. I have a tendency towards the fleeting grace of a moment I know won’t last. I have few friends that really know me and even fewer that are actually close to me. I have struggled to find the balance. Perhaps that’s the eternal struggle. But, here I am, alone again… feeling this horrible throbbing pain in my stomach that says “stop letting anyone in”.

There’s something beautiful about a broken heart, something that I can’t quite explain. While I was lucky to be cared for… I want to hide now. I hear it. That voice that told me I wasn’t good enough, that it was stupid, that I was being naïve. How am I feeling this again. Am I really, actually, unlovable?

Exhale.
Let go.
Move on.

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